Ode to (manly) men

Patrice Lewis

I love men. No, not like that (well … maybe a little). I love men because they're rough, tough, practical, logical and don't mind taking out the garbage.

I love how men are sensible and no nonsense, the way their minds churn out useful, obvious solutions to problems that baffle me, the way they operate by logic rather than emotion. I love the way they stay calm and focused under situations that send me into a chicken-running-around panic.

I love their protective instinct. Yes, men can be aggressive and violent, but there is also a time and place for that, too. If a burglar is in my house, I would rather have my husband aggressively defending me than cowering behind the sofa (as I would be doing)....

...Then five years ago, we moved to Idaho and fell face-first into a cliché. Unless you're in an urban enclave, Idaho doesn't have metrosexuals. It has "retrosexuals" in vast and unapologetic numbers. A "retrosexual," in case you haven't heard, is a real man, a man's man, not some wimpy citified wuss (ahem). And here in rural Idaho, I quickly learned that a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Yes, this can include belching, breaking wind and scratching his privates, but more often it's a regression back to startlingly old-fashioned un-PC ways.....

...So how do I deal with the testosterone oozing out of the pores of all our local retrosexuals?
I revel in it, that's what I do. Men tip their hats to me, open doors, offer me seats and sometimes even stand up when I enter a room – all because I have one more X chromosome than they do. Fabulous!

I like feeling like a woman. I like the fact that I can lift 50-pound sacks of feed and 70-pound hay bales with the best of 'em, and then have someone offer me his seat as if I were a delicate hothouse flower unable to stand on my own...

Click here to read whole story